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Monday, February 18, 2008
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good night yuzuyu! at 5:28 AM Saturday, December 30, 2006
jokes i found again ><TEACHER : Balgobin, how do youspell "crocodile"? BALGOBIN : "K-R-O-K-O-D-A-I-L" TEACHER : No, that's wrong BALGOBIN : Maybe it's wrong, but you askedme how I spell it! TEACHER : What is the chemical formula forwater? BALGOBIN : "HIJKLMNO! "!! TEACHER : What are you talking about? BALGOBIN : Yesterday you said it's H to O ! TEACHER : Balgobin, name one important thing we have today that we didn'thave ten years ago. BALGOBIN : Me ! Teacher: Now, Sam, Tell Me Frankly, Do You SayPrayers Before Eating? Sam: No Sir, I Don't Have To, My Mom Is A Good Cook. I wrote your name on sand it got washed.I wrote your name in air,it was blown away.thenI wrote your name on my heart & i got Heart Attack good night yuzuyu! at 8:16 PM one fine day bun was walking along a street and suddenly maggie mee ran towards bun, gave bun a punch and fled away.. bun was pissed.. next day.. bun was walking along the same street where he saw spaghetti and he went over and punched him hard on his face and said " don't think you reborn your hair i cant recognise you " Q: Why do moth fly with their legs open?A: Have you seen the size of moth balls? Three women were about to be shot in a police station for commiting crimes. When the first woman was about to be shot(police was counting down, 3, 2,1!), she yelled, "EARTHQUAKE!!" and everyone evacuted so she safely escaped. When the second woman was about to be shot, she yelled, "TORNADE!!" and she too escaped. When the third woman was about to be shot(3,2,1!!), she yelled,"FIRE!!" and she............. Ah Beng met Ah Seng at the coffee shop. Ah Beng : "Eh! Hello Ah Seng! Did you know who won the lying competition yesterday?"Ah Seng : "Hi, nope."Ah Beng : "Mr Lim won it."Ah Seng : "What did he lie about ?"Ah Beng : "He said he had never told a lie before in his whole entire life." What did Batman say to Robin before getting into the car? Robin, get in the car. Why are E.T.'s eyes so big? He saw his phone bill. Why did the chicken cross the road ?Cos he wanted to get to the side silly!Why do teh dino cross the road now ?Cos the chicken is fed up of always been in the joke so dino took over the job. Merv was in a terrible accident at work. He fell through a floortile and ripped off both of his ears. Since he was permanentlydisfigured, he settled with the company for a rather large sumof money and went on his way.One day, Merv decided to invest his money in a small, butgrowing telecom business called Plexus Communications. Afterweeks of negotiations, he bought the company outright. But,after signing on the dotted line, he realized that he knewnothing about running such a business and quickly set out tohire someone who could do that for him.The next day he had set up three interviews. The first guy wasgreat. He knew everything he needed to and was very interesting.At the end of the interview, Merv asked him, "Do you noticeanything different about me?" And the gentleman answered, "Whyyes, I couldn't help but notice you have no ears." Merv got veryangry and threw him out.The second interview was with a woman, and she was even betterthan the first guy. He asked her the same question, "Do younotice anything different about me?" and she replied: "Well, youhave no ears." Merv again was upset and tossed her out.The third and last interview was the best of all three. It waswith a very young man who was fresh out of college. He wassmart. He was handsome. And he seemed to be a better businessmanthan the first two put together. Merv was anxious, but wentahead and asked the young man the same question: "Do you noticeanything different about me?" And to his surprise, the young mananswered: "Yes. You wear contact lenses."Merv was shocked, and said, "What an incredibly observant youngman. How in the world did you know that?"The young man fell off his chair laughing hysterically andreplied, "Well, it's pretty hard to wear glasses with no ears!" Joke no 1: Ah Beng, Ah Meng and Ah Seng both went to Las Vegas and stayed at a VIP suite on the top story of a 75 story high hotel. When they went back after a day at the casino 1 day. They returned to the hotel to get informed by the manager that the lift had broke down and that they needed to use the stairs to get to their suite.. all of them were like ARGHH.. then they started on their way up the stairs when Ah Beng came up with a plan.. he proclaimed," Hey guys, for the 1st 25stories, i will tell happy stories, the next 25 stories, Ah Meng will sing songs, and for the final 25stories, Ah Seng will tell sad stories.. agreed? They all nodded in agreement and began climbing... for the 1st 25 stories, Ah Beng told happy stories of his family.. on the 26th story, Ah Meng started singing. When it was the 51th story, Ah Seng said," I will tell you guys the saddest story of all.. I left the room key in the car." Joke no 2: One day, a man left his family to go to Johor Bahru for a business trip for 1month. He gave his wife a farewell kiss and said he would email her everyday.. On reaching the JB Hotel, he was given a Suite and was extremely pleased with the room as it even had a computer there. So he quickly turned on the PC and sent a email to his wife... when he sent it, he found he had sent it to the wrong email.. In Houston, a funeral was held for a widow's husband... as she entered the house and checked her email full of condolenses... she fainted... her son entered the room and read the msg. It read " Hi Dear, I have reached my destination and i am very happy here.. the place is wonderful and it even has computers here, I hope you would be happy without me around... Looking forward to seeing you in 1 month ^^.. From your loving husband.. Three men who were lost in the forest were captured by cannibals. The cannibal king told the prisoners that they could live if they pass a trial. The first step of the trial was to go to the forest and get ten pieces of the same kind of fruit. So all three men went separate ways to gather fruits. The first one came back and said to the king, "I brought ten apples." The king then explained the trial to him. "You have to shove the fruits up your butt without any expression on your face or you'll be eaten." The first apple went in... but on the second one he winced out in pain, so he was killed. The second one arrived and showed the king ten berries. When the king explained the trial to him he thought to himself that this should be easy. 1...2...3...4...5...6...7...8... and on the ninth berry he burst out in laughter and was killed. The first guy and the second guy met in heaven. The first one asked, "Why did you laugh, you almost got away with it?" The second one replied, "I couldn't help it, I saw the third guy coming with pineapples." WE ARE CHIN KANG KORThere was a timewhen people said that bus fares won't increase ...... but it didThere was a timewhen people think that CPFcontributions won't decrease ..... but it didWe build a nation with nothing freeReaching out together, for all your money .....This is my country, this is my flatIs there any future, or is this a lieWhat happen to my family, what happen to my friendsWe're Chin Kang Kor, Chin Kang KorSingapore, our homeland, it's here that we're connedAll of us united, one people struggling onWe worked so hard together, what have we achieveSingapore forever, a nation with price increase........ The children were lined up in the cafeteria of a Catholic elementary school for lunch. At the head of the table was a large pile of apples. The nun made a note, and posted on the apple tray:"Take only ONE. God is watching."Moving further along the lunch line, at the other end of the table was a large pile of chocolate chip cookies.A child had written a note, "Take all you want. God is watching the apples. okay.. thats all for now x) good night yuzuyu! at 9:02 AM good night yuzuyu! at 9:02 AM Tuesday, December 26, 2006
IN GOD'S EYES by Candace Carteen, Portland, OregonBy the time I was ten, I was totally ashamed of my father. All my friends called him names: Quasi-Moto, hunchback, monster, little Frankenstein, the crooked little man with the crooked little cane. At first it hurt when they called him those things, but soon I found myself agreeing with them. He was ugly, and I knew it! My father was born with something called parastremmatic dwarfism. The disease made him stop growing when he was about thirteen and caused his body to twist and turn into a grotesque shape. It wasn't too bad when he was a kid. I saw pictures of him when he was about my age. He was a little short but quite good-looking. Even when he met my mother and married her when he was nineteen, he still looked pretty normal. He was still short and walked with a slight limp, but he was able to do just about anything. Mother said, "He even used to be a great dancer." Soon after my birth, things started getting worse. Another genetic disorder took over, and his left foot started turning out, almost backward. His head and neck shifted over to the right; his neck became rigid and he had to look over his left shoulder a bit. His right arm curled in and up, and his index finger almost touched his elbow. His spine warped to look something like a big, old roller coaster and it caused his torso to lie sideways instead of straight up and down like a normal person. His walk became slow, awkward, and deliberate. He had to almost drag his left foot as he used his deformed right arm to balance his gait. I hated to be seen with him. Everyone stared. They seemed to pity me. I knew he must have done something really bad to have God hate him that much. By the time I was seventeen, I was blaming all my problems on my father. I didn't have the right boyfriends because of him. I didn't drive the right car because of him. I wasn't pretty enough because of him. I didn't have the right jobs because of him. I wasn't happy because of him. Anything that was wrong with me, or my life, was because of him. If my father had been good-looking like Jane's father, or successful like Paul's father, or worldly like Terry's father, I would be perfect! I knew that for sure. The night of my senior prom came, and Father had to place one more nail in my coffin; he had volunteered to be one of the chaperones at the dance. My heart just sank when he told me. I stormed into my room, slammed the door, threw myself on the bed, and cried. "Three more weeks and I'll be out of here!" I screamed into my pillow. "Three more weeks and I will have graduated and be moving away to college." I sat up and took a deep breath. "God, please make my father go away and leave me alone. He keeps sticking his big nose in everything I do. Just make him disappear, so that I can have a good time at the dance." I got dressed, my date picked me up, and we went to the prom. Father followed in his car behind us. When we arrived, Father seemed to vanish into the pink chiffon drapes that hung everywhere in the auditorium. I thanked God that He had heard my prayer. At least now I could have some fun. Midway through the dance, Father came out from behind the drapes and decided to embarrass me again. He started dancing with my girlfriends. One by one, he took their hand and led them to the dance floor. He then clumsily moved them in circles as the band played. Now I tried to vanish into the drapes. After Jane had danced with him, she headed my way. Oh, no! I thought. She's going to tell me he stomped on her foot or something. "Grace," she called, "you have the greatest father." My face fell. "What?" She smiled at me and grabbed my shoulders. "Your father's just the best. He's funny, kind, and always finds the time to be where you need him. I wish my father was more like that." For one of the first times in my life, I couldn't talk. Her words confused me. "What do you mean?" I asked her. Jane looked at me really strangely. "What do you mean, what do I mean? Your father's wonderful. I remember when we were kids, and I'd sleep over at your house. He'd always come into your room, sit down in the chair between the twin beds, and read us a book. I'm not sure my father can even read," she sighed, and then smiled. "Thanks for sharing him." Then, Jane ran off to dance with her boyfriend. I stood there in silence. A few minutes later, Paul came to stand beside me. "He's sure having a lot of fun." "What? Who? Who is having a lot of fun?" I asked. "Your father. He's having a ball." "Yeah. I guess." I didn't know what else to say. "You know, he's always been there," Paul said. "I remember when you and I were on the mixed-doubles soccer team. He tried out as the coach, but he couldn't run up and down the field, remember? So they picked Jackie's father instead. That didn't stop him. He showed up for every game and did whatever needed to be done. He was the team's biggest fan. I think he's the reason we won so many games. Without him, it just would have been Jackie's father running up and down the field yelling at us. Your father made it fun. I wish my father had been able to show up to at least one of our games. He was always too busy." Paul's girlfriend came out of the restroom, and he went to her side, leaving me once again speechless. My boyfriend came back with two glasses of punch and handed me one. "Well, what do you think of my father?" I asked out of the blue. Terry looked surprised. "I like him. I always have." "Then why did you call him names when we were kids?" "I don't know. Because he was different, and I was a dumb kid." "When did you stop calling him names?" I asked, trying to search my own memory. Terry didn't even have to think about the answer. "The day he sat down with me outside by the pool and held me while I cried about my mother and father's divorce. No one else would let me talk about it. I was hurting inside, and he could feel it. He cried with me that day. I thought you knew." I looked at Terry and a tear rolled down my cheek as long-forgotten memories started cascading into my consciousness. When I was three, my puppy got killed by another dog, and my father was there to hold me and teach me what happens when the pets we love die. When I was five, my father took me to my first day of school. I was so scared. So was he. We cried and held each other that first day. The next day he became teacher's helper. When I was eight, I just couldn't do math. Father sat down with me night after night, and we worked on math problems until math became easy for me. When I was ten, my father bought me a brand-new bike. When it was stolen, because I didn't lock it up like I was taught to do, my father gave me jobs to do around the house so I could make enough money to purchase another one. When I was thirteen and my first love broke up with me, my father was there to yell at, to blame, and to cry with. When I was fifteen and I got to be in the honor society, my father was there to see me get the accolade. Now, when I was seventeen, he put up with me no matter how nasty I became or how high my hormones raged. As I looked at my father dancing gaily with my friends, a big toothy grin on his face, I suddenly saw him differently. The handicaps weren't his, they were mine! I had spent a great deal of my life hating the man who loved me. I had hated the exterior that I saw, and I had ignored the interior that contained his God-given heart. I suddenly felt very ashamed. I asked Terry to take me home, too overcome with feelings to remain. On graduation day, at my Christian high school, my name was called, and I stood behind the podium as the valedictorian of my class. As I looked out over the people in the audience, my gaze rested on my father in the front row sitting next to my mother. He sat there, in his one and only, specially made suit, holding my mother's hand and smiling. Overcome with emotions, my prepared speech was to become a landmark in my life. "Today I stand here as an honor student, able to graduate with a 4.0 average. Yes, I was in the honor society for three years and was elected class president for the last two years. I led our school to championship in the debate club, and yes, I even won a full scholarship to Kenton State University so that I can continue to study physics and someday become a college professor. "What I'm here to tell you today, fellow graduates, is that I didn't do it alone. God was there, and I had a whole bunch of friends, teachers, and counselors who helped. Up until three weeks ago, I thought they were the only ones I would be thanking this evening. If I had thanked just them, I would have been leaving out the most important person in my life. My father." I looked down at my father and at the look of complete shock that covered his face. I stepped out from behind the podium and motioned for my father to join me onstage. He made his way slowly, awkwardly, and deliberately. He had to drag his left foot up the stairs as he used his deformed right arm to balance his gait. As he stood next to me at the podium, I took his small, crippled hand in mine and held it tight. "Sometimes we only see the silhouette of the people around us," I said. "For years I was as shallow as the silhouettes I saw. For almost my entire life, I saw my father as someone to make fun of, someone to blame, and someone to be ashamed of. He wasn't perfect, like the fathers my friends had. "Well, fellow graduates, what I found out three weeks ago is that while I was envying my friends' fathers, my friends were envying mine. That realization hit me hard and made me look at who I was and what I had become. I was brought up to pray to God and hold high principles for others and myself. What I've done most of my life is read between the lines of the Good Book so I could justify my hatred." Then, I turned to look my father in the face. "Father, I owe you a big apology. I based my love for you on what I saw and not what I felt. I forgot to look at the one part of you that meant the most, the big, big heart God gave you. As I move out of high school and into life, I want you to know I could not have had a better father. You were always there for me, and no matter how badly I hurt you, you still showed up. Thank you!" I took off my mortar board and placed it on his head, moving the tassel just so. "You are the reason I am standing here today. You deserve this honor, not me." And as the audience applauded and cried with us, I felt God's light shining down upon me as I embraced my father more warmly than I ever had before, tears unashamedly falling down both our faces. For the first time, I saw my father through God's eyes, and I felt honored to be seen with him. >From the book: God Allows U Turns: True Stories of Hope and Healing by Allison Bottke(Editor), Cheryll Hutchings good night yuzuyu! at 8:45 AM some things i got from chain mail 1)People who point at their wrist while asking for the time.... I know where my watch is pal, where the hell is yours? Do I point at my crotch when I ask where the toilet is? 2 People who are willing to get off their ass to search the entire room for the T.V. remote because they refuse to walk to the T.V. and change the channel manually. 3)When people say while watching a film "did you see that?". No Loser, I paid $12 to come to the cinema and stare at the damn floor. 4)People who ask "Can I ask you a question?".... Didn't really give me a choice there, did ya sunshine? 5)When something is 'new and improved!' Which is it? If it's new, then there has never been anything before it. If it's an improvement, then there must have been something before it, couldn't be new. 6)When people say "life is short". What the hell?? Life is the longest damn thing anyone ever does!! What can you do that's longer? 7)When you are waiting for the bus and someone asks "Has the bus come yet?". If the bus came would I be standing here? good night yuzuyu! at 8:15 AM Monday, December 25, 2006
WOOT:) bought a new CRUMPLER BAG :))costs 179 >.< GETTING Adidas Torrent V shoe~~~~~ wahahahahahahaha >.< merry xmas all good night yuzuyu! at 9:47 PM Thursday, December 21, 2006
 
good night yuzuyu! at 7:30 AM 1) THREE MEN WERE WALKING THROUGH THE JUNGLE IN MUKIT TIMAH AND THEY FOUND A GENIE SITTING BY A CLIFF . THE GENIE SAIS " I WILL GRANT YOU EACH ONE WISH , ALL YUO HAVE TO DO IS SAY WHAT U WANT AND JUMP OFF THE CLIFF". THE 1ST GUY WENT TO THE EDGE , YELLED "MONEY" AND JUMPS OFF, HE LANDS IN A BIG PILE OF MONEY.THE SECOND GUY GOT UP AND YELLED "WOMEN" , HE LANDS AMONG HUNDREDS OF WOMEN. THE THIRD GUY, WHO WAS PRETTY EXCITED NOW, GOT TO THE EDGE OF THE CLIFF, SLIPPED AND YELLED "sh1t"!* 2)This equation should be taught in all math classes! What Makes 100%? What does it mean to give MORE than 100%? Ever wonder about those people who say they are giving more than 100%? We have all been to those meetings where someone wants you to give over 100%. How about achieving 103%? What makes up 100% in life? Here's a little mathematical formula that might help you answer these questions: If: A B C D E F G H I J K L M N O P Q R S T U V W X Y Z is represented as: 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13 14 15 16 17 18 19 20 21 22 23 24 25 26. Then: H-A-R-D-W-O-R-K 8+1+18+4+23+15+18+11 = 98% and K-N-O-W-L-E-D-G-E 11+14+15+23+12+5+4+7+5 = 96% But, A-T-T-I-T-U-D-E 1+20+20+9+20+21+4+5 = 100% And, B-U-L-L-S-H-I-T 2+21+12+12+19+8+9+20 = 103% AND, look how far ass kissing will take you. A-S-S-K-I-S-S-I-N-G 1+19+19+11+9+19+19+9+14+7 = 127% So, one can conclude with mathematical certainty that Hard work and Knowledge will get you close, Attitude will get you there, Bullsh1t and 4ss kissing that will put you over the top 3)Jim and Edna were both patients in a mentalhospital.One day, while they were walking past the hospitalswimming pool, Jim suddenly jumped into thedeep end. He sank to the bottom of the pool andstayed there. Edna promptly jumped in to savehim. She swam to the bottom and pulled Jim out.When the Director of Nursing became aware ofEdna's heroic act, she considered her to bementally stable. When she went to tell Edna thenews she said,"Edna, I have good news and badnews. The good news is you're beingdischarged - since you were able to rationallyrespond to a crisis by jumping in and saving thelife of another patient - I have concludedthat your act displays soundness of mind.The bad news is that Jim, the patient you saved,hung himself in his bathroom with the belt to hisrobe, right after you saved him. I am sorry, but he'sdead."Edna replied, "He didn't hang himself. I put himthere to dry. When can I go home?" good night yuzuyu! at 6:36 AM Sunday, December 10, 2006
YO YO YO. long time never post le wor. I just found myself a new dad :)NOW im FINALLY 3rd job.. after these hellish days -.- oh. introducing my new maple family MUMMY- EngLoonThio DADDY - AWKV SISTA - APPLE987 BRO - wateverheal Aunties - old auntie YF(YingFang), AUNTIE ELEPHANT(Arquonic) :) er. did i forget anyone? cant rmb. LOL OKAY. THE ICE MAGE WILL B UPDATING BOUT SGB TMR. bbbbbb good night yuzuyu! at 6:58 AM Friday, December 01, 2006
yoyoyo.the supa enthu foress is back in action. zzzzzz. today we went for BB SGB, Sharity Gift Box. derek and i chose tiong bahru plaza, but the darn officer say cannot. so we stay for warehouse duty. derek did the work, i sit down and do guard duty, which is nth to do at all. wakaka. in the end, we got posted to clementi. ATE KFC FOR DINNER. zinger student meal. wahhaa. so SHIOK thn arn 9+ eat MCSPICY. wahahaha. dont be jealous x) lalala. i posted right ? xD ok bye bye good night yuzuyu! at 8:12 AM |
